I feel like lately all I have been doing is planning, planning, planning for the future. And it only leaves me disappointed and exhausted. I can't plan for tomorrow. God knows what tomorrow will hold and right now that has to be enough for me.
I have big dreams for the future and sometimes it becomes all I think about. It completely consumes me and I end up missing whats happening right now.
For the sake of finishing this blog journal here are my current dreams in no particular order (and they may or may not be for the next year) ....
- Move into another (or build) a house. I want something with a bigger yard. I wouldn't mind having a bigger house but I want a smaller payment.
- Have a family. I love Ben with all my heart and I love it being just me and him, but I am ready to be called mom.
- Go on a vacation with all my family and friends.
- Paint the inside of this house.
- Finish this school year, giving all that I can give to it... no regrets. I look back on last school year and see things that I could have done differently. I don't want to do that with this school year.
- See my sister and sister-in-law (sister-in-laws maybe??) have their babies... (not literally see them, but be at the hospital when they do have them)
- Ben wants to "kill a big deer." And I didn't think I would ever say this but I want him to as well. I have started cooking with deer meat for recipes with ground beef and it doesn't make me sick. I have really bad acid reflux and every time I cook tacos, spaghetti, and anything else with regular meat I get sick.
- Let Ben get his projector. He has been driving me crazy about it for a while now. So since I'm living in the moment and not worrying about anything, I said he could get it. I may be crazy!
- Go on Big Brother and win $500,000... haha!
- Continue to trust God and His plan for my life. And enjoy every moment He has given me and take nothing for granted.
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