So...

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS WAY TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!

I know I haven't written much on the baby front, because there really hasn't been much to update on. I went Tuesday, Dec. 28th to have a progesterone to make me start my period. The shot is supposed to be quicker than taking any medicine. After a week of being super crampy and spotting, I finally started on Tuesday. I went in today to have an ultrasound to make sure the cyst that I had last time was gone. I was really nervous about this ultrasound for some reason. It took my nurse forever to find my left ovary. She gave up looking and found the right one right away and everything was fine with that. The lining of my uterus looked like it was supposed to. She finally found my left ovary and there was the stupid cyst. Exactly what we didn't want to see! She said it was small so that it still might be okay to start the Clomid but she would have to talk to the doctor.

When I got dressed and walked out of the exam room, she told me that we had three possible options. 

1. Rest... meaning we do nothing for an entire month.
2. Start Birth Control... to hopefully reduce the size of the cyst. In my eyes a step backwards.
3. Go ahead and start Clomid... She wasn't sure about this one because Clomid is known to cause cysts to grow. And obviously we don't want the cyst to grow.

I left feeling very defeated. Like we had gone through so much and we've had so much hope of the last 6 weeks only to be let down and have to do nothing or take a step backwards. Thank God for Ben, he was definitely my voice of reason. He said we didn't want to go ahead with the Clomid, get pregnant, and then have this huge cyst and something happen to me or the baby. He said the doctors knew what they were doing and were going to make the smartest and safest decision. I did start to feel better after talking to him.

After dealing with Dr. S. (She is the doctor I have gone to since I started going to girly doctor, and the one that I felt like never did anything for me. But she is also head of the infertility department. So all decisions are made by her.) for so long, I had this feeling that she wouldn't allow me to go on with the Clomid so I was preparing myself to hear those words. I tried everything I could to keep my mind off of it all day today. But all the teachers I work with are great and they know what is going on, so of course, they all wanted to know how it went. And then the kids wanted to know where I was and why I have been missing so many days. Keeping my mind off of it was HARD! By the time I got home, I was checking the clock every few minutes. I knew the infertility department closes at 4 so I was expecting a phone call around then. It felt like the longest wait!

My nurse, Mrs. T, finally called. She had talked to the doctor and they decided that it would be safe for me to cycle with the Clomid. Just the news I wanted to hear! So I guess I need to start preparing myself for all the horror stories I have heard. The hot flashes, the weight gain, the moodiness. Bring it on! :) I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get my baby!  

I am going into this month hopeful that I get pregnant. (I know the chances are slim.) I would prefer to get pregnant this month. If we don't, next month we start Clomid and shots... I am NOT a fan of shots, but like I said, I'll do whatever it takes!